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Brainus Maximus Brainus Maximus Brainus Maximus
Sloberus Sweatmuchus Sloberus Sweatmuchus Sloberus Sweatmuchus
Drunkus Obnoxious Drunkus Obnoxious Drunkus Obnoxious
Motorskills Notworkmuchus Motorskills Notworkmuchus Motorskills Notworkmuchus
Projectus Vomitus Projectus Vomitus Projectus Vomitus
Victimus Vulnerablus Victimus Vulnerablus Victimus Vulnerablus

All mental functions are sharp and heightened. He has not yet morphed into That Guy, but is primed and ready for a night filled with booze, buddies, and banter. All bodily functions are working properly – for now.

All mental functions are sharp and heightened. All bodily functions are working properly…for now.

Continuously telling everyone around him to “get on his level,” That Guy throws back a shot and professes his love for the bartender and the (unimpressed) girl he just met. Bad jokes and piss-poor pick-up lines are frequently used, and are usually accompanied by some sort of beer-induced drool. His pit stains are unavoidable – and some sweat drips into his drink.

Bad jokes and beer-induced drool are rampant. Pit stains are unavoidable.

Out of nowhere, That Guy has the urge to challenge every guy he sees to an arm wrestling match. He barges through the bar and picks a fight with every dude he bumps into…but the 300-pound bouncer doesn’t seem too amused. Inevitably, this leads to him waking up with a pretty serious UPI (Unidentified Party Injury).

He challenges everyone he sees to an arm wrestling match. The 300-pound bouncer isn’t amused.

That Guy broke the seal hours ago and has stopped trying to find the bar bathroom – it’s much more convenient for him to use his pants as a port-o-potty. He tries his best to flirt with anyone who walks by but can’t seem to figure out how to form sentences…or words, for that matter.

He tries to flirt with anyone who walks by but can’t figure out how to form sentences…or words, for that matter.

Not surprisingly, That Guy’s drunken antics manage to get him kicked out of the bar before midnight. Somehow, he makes it home and stumbles to the bathroom. He hugs the toilet, pukes his guts out, and pleads, “Why me? Make it stop!” Those tequila shots don’t taste as great the second time around…

Drunken antics get him kicked out of the bar before midnight. He gets home and immediately hugs the toilet.

After barfing all night, That Guy passes out in the fetal position and snores on the floor. He won’t remember his “friends” shaving off his left eyebrow or writing obscene words on his face with permanent marker. What WILL he remember? For starters, that photo of him that’s currently making the rounds online. Doh!

That Guy is passed out cold. He may forget the night, but he’ll remember that photo of him making the rounds online…